Irish Blessing for 2011

Why must one fight darkness?

Some one told me of an experience he had while in jail - a child brought before the father to be tortured so that the father would " confess "


For some reason today, this picture has been in my mind - on the day my son died, 9 years ago.
This question kept going through my head : What would you as a parent do?
Would you confess anything just to save your child?
What will your child think of you - will your child understand that you did this to love him?
Or, would your child see you as a coward who does not stand for truth?


Does it matter whether it is for political reasons or for faith?


A parent who will not deny his faith, does so knowing that the things of this world are temporary and though your child may be killed too, he will live for eternity.
What about torture? How does a parent watch his child being tortured for not denying Jesus.


Dark and difficult thoughts. I lost a son in this world. I am struggling hard to stay positive for the rest of my family, but i am not doing a very good job. I longed for gentle words and comforting words from those i loved. I longed for a hug and something to just tell me that they are with me in thought.. i so longed for those words.....

It feels to me it would be easier to just fade away to nothingness.


Yet daily there are parents who face much worse than i do. My thoughts and feelings are so selfish, yet it is a very lonely path one walks


God forgive me

At the End of A year

Today is the 24th. As, always, we will have our dinner table full this Christmas Eve. 

Years ago, it was the whole family. Mom, Dad, brother, sister, children. Now Mom and Dad are no longer with us, brother goes off to the in laws.

This is always such a bitter sweet time of year. Its wonderful to have the children here. Its great to have our friends share this special night, but there are a few empty places now. Mom, Dad and a dearly loved son, all who have gone on from this world.

Its a time of year where i fight against the dark overwhelming emotion of depression. If i do not keep busy, i sink into utter despair. 

Last night, after speaking to T, who is getting engaged today, i felt this strong sense of longing to go on. I am sometimes so tired of life.

We celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ our Lord - and its only because of the hope i have in Him, the purpose i know He has for my life that i can continue.

Trusting for an awesome 2011

What is Death?

I have just watched Voyage of the Dawn Treader.  At the end Reepicheep leaves to go to the land of Aslan. He gets into his little boat and off he goes to the land of peace and joy not to ever return to this world, or in this case, Narnia.

 

Seeing this scene made me weep a little for it reminded me so of the poem below:

December is a pretty tough month for me most times It is the month when i had to say goodbye to my son and to my mother. 

After my son passed away, a very dear friend sent this poem to me, and over the years it has been a comfort to me especially when feelings of grief threaten to overwhelm.  When one has the assurance of salvation through Christ Jesus, when one knows that life on this earth is only a passing journey, and one day, we will all climb on that ship, there is hope. There is no fear of death, only the promise of a place more glorious than we can ever imagine.

 

I am standing by the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze
and starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength,
and I stand and watch
until at last she hangs like a speck of white cloud
just where the sun and sky come down to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says, 'There she goes!
Gone where? Gone from my sight - that is all.

She is just as large in mast and hull and spar
as she was when she left my side
and just as able to bear her load of living freight
to the places of destination.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her.

And just at the moment when someone at my side says,
'There she goes! ' ,
there are other eyes watching her coming,
and other voices ready to take up the glad shout :
'Here she comes!'